First Jobs

One of my very first jobs when I had gobs of acne was working at a produce stand in semi-rural North Carolina. My duties included selling pine straw bales, calculating the costs of ripe tomatoes by the pound and learning how to count up to give change to the nearest dollar. I still struggle with […]

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Front row funeral call

On the first day of class in “Abnormal Psychology” our professor warned us that as we studied different disorders, we might begin to diagnose ourselves into the psych. ward. And he was right. By the end of the 2nd chapter, I knew I was partially, if not fully deranged. Nowadays I lean towards being a […]

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I.N.A.Y (It’s Not About You)

If I were in charge of the world, babies would read in the womb. None of these headsets on the belly so they can recite Scandinavian poetry as soon as they get suctioned. No, sir. Let’s just hold the text right up there and with black light (or something) they can balance your checkbook before they can breathe! How […]

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Marriage and Missles

It was a dark and stormy night…OK, it was night. And it was stormy in an off-your-rocker-overly-emotional-newlywed kind of way. My husband and I were driving home from somewhere. Probably a State Dinner. And we were heatedly fighting about something. Probably Tuberculosis eradication. And as we drove up to our quaint, one-bedroom apartment, I huffed […]

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Mass Murderer Conventions (also known as camping)

There are essentially two types of people in the world: those who love to camp and those who think it’s absurd to want to pack half a household, drive two hours, unpack it all and pretend you’re homeless. For the record, there is a small subset of the first group that call “sleeping in a […]

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Sports: how I loathe you

My husband loves sports, especially soccer. He loves playing, refereeing and watching soccer. So, it was only natural that with our first child (the practice kid) we signed her up like all the other lemmings when she was five and it truly was amateur Amoeba Ball just like they said it would be. Now in […]

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Marriage is like Silverware

I thought that by having two handfuls of roommates in college with a diversity of personalities made me unbelievably over prepared for marriage. My level of patience and skills at negotiation were at an all-time high. I was twenty-four, had numerous psychology courses under my belt and thought the only thing needed to make our […]

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Life lessons in gratitude from the laundry mat

Everything I needed to know, I learned at the local laundry mat. Coin laundries are often stark, undecorated places and through the years I’ve put more hours and quarters in them than I’d care to calculate. You see quite a slice of society in your local laundry business and since I spent most of college […]

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A tally of hectic parenthood in library fines

I love the library. I love the smell of books and even though we have been gifted a Kindle and use it frequently, I still prefer the feel of holding someone’s heart and thoughts in ink on a page. Sadly, my admiration for libraries does not translate to veneration of their rules and due dates. […]

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Putting Fear back in her place

Whenever I see her, she is dressed in gray from head to toe, like she stepped out of a silent black and white film. Her face is expressionless and her hair colorless. She is dressed simply with not a thread or inch of skin drawing any attention to herself. Many of you would scarcely notice […]

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