For the newbies

Sixteen years ago, I consulted friends, family, pregnancy books and child development classes to help me prepare me for my impending motherhood. All sources regretted to inform me of four important items which I will share with you now. Today. Because I’m a giver. First off, in the hospital if you deliver non-cesarean (Fine, I’ll […]

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Poor Baby

The world is heading down a dark tunnel fast, y’all.  I’m not talking about divorces, gambling or drugs. I’m not even talking about how we just launched a reality TV show entitled “US Government: Amateur Hour”. No, the real problem lies in baby names. Yes, baby names. The problem is two-fold. Problemo numero uno: There […]

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Time Machines and Kanye

Time travel is a popular theme in books, movies and television. The plot is frequently this: the protagonist realizes there’s a key problem that needs to be resolved and if they’d only known____ or did____ in the past, it all could have been avoided! Lincoln and Kennedy would be alive a bit longer, the Challenger […]

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Dead Celebrities vs. NBP (Normal Boring People)

I watched American Idol years ago and thought, “Why did God give so many people the same gift—it seems a bit unfair” and I suppose it would if you thought life was just one big mad scramble to the top of the heap. So if someone wants to produce Idol meets Survivor—that’d be some great […]

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Keeping Santa alive is slowly killing me

Whenever I’m in the car with our soon-to-be-driving-teenager, I have a running commentary: “Don’t do this when you drive. Or that. Basically do the complete opposite of what I do every time I’m behind the wheel.” Like when I swerve a bit on country roads just so the kid climbing over the back seat to […]

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Miracle in a Children’s Hospital

By a show of hands how many of you have ever utilized a children’s hospital? Not just the pediatric floor at your nearby clinic but a stand-alone-research/regional hub for life-saving care for complicated and very sick children? OK, y’all ten people put your hands down. For the rest of you, let me give you a […]

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A Hard Gig

Politics and parenting have one thing in common: they bring out the crazy in everyone. Both tend to produce rigid and self-righteous thinking even among friends. We need to remember that parenting is a hard gig and as many people have reminded me over the years, seriously lacking in concrete instruction. I thought having  a […]

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Coaching

Chapter One of my life as a mother is currently closed. I am no longer pregnant or hoping to become so. I am no longer nursing and grateful to be so. And oh, mama, it’s nice. Ever so nice. Not ever so easy—but nice. Now I’m in Chapter Two—able to volunteer and be of service and a variety […]

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Competitive Parenting

Parenting can unfortunately be a cut-throat enterprise. If you are not aware of the dangerous practice called competitive parenting then you must not have a child, seen a child, or even better—you probably live on the tippity-toppiest mountain peak in Nepal. In a cave. With a boulder the size of Manhattan blocking the only exit. With […]

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I.N.A.Y (It’s Not About You)

If I were in charge of the world, babies would read in the womb. None of these headsets on the belly so they can recite Scandinavian poetry as soon as they get suctioned. No, sir. Let’s just hold the text right up there and with black light (or something) they can balance your checkbook before they can breathe! How […]

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